I am so proud to say that I am not attached to social media anymore. There was a time where I was on Instagram, Facebook, and Snapchat 24/7 and spent my entire day scrolling through feed and eventually let unrealistic social standards ruin my day or make me feel horrible about myself. But now I have built myself not to care about those. This made a huge difference in my life… so keep on reading if you are looking to go down this path, want to see how I did it, why I did it, and how you can do it too!
1. How it all Started
The main reason I started social media was to promote my blog (previously I had a blog under clairebearblogs.com, but I now moved to Medium). I was once a full-time blogger and when you want to expand your business, I think having a social media is a must. This includes, Facebook, Pinterest, Twitter, but Instagram was where I was the most active. I felt like this platform was where everyone these days go to, or you can show your feed and be like, this is my portfolio, as if the feed you created represents you.
2. Life as a Blogger
If you want to be an influencer, blogger or content creator, there’s a lot of work involved. From the point of your audience, they think all we do is go to free events, get free things and have fun all day — which is partially true but not entirely. Behind the close doors, which many people don’t see, we are constantly working and putting in hours, and keep learning how to get better at this game… especially when these days, anyone can rise up in these platforms. You definitely need to be a self-starter, you have to have motivation, dedication and be consistent. Like all jobs, it has its good days and bad days, so it’s not all sunshine and rainbows.
3. So What’s the Problem?
The problem ism your mental health. Let’s take an example… you receive these pr boxes or get to go to events for free, but the businesses expect something back from you — where it’s an instagram story, instagram post, facebook post or a blog post etc. Not only that, you also have to constantly chase what’s new, what’s on the trend… at first it’s fun but it also gets really tiring. I would spend hours and hours writing my blog post just for that one event or get paid not enough on my hard work. Then, you spend your days on social media and you find yourself checking notifications all day long, like as if those likes, comments and tags are feeding you. The attention that people give you really sucks you in, and it’s really really hard to get out of it. It’s like a trap… and you start to compare yourself to other bloggers and think you are just not enough. These things would eventually pile up and hurt your mental health little by little to the point where you just get so exhausted and depressed.
4. Promise to Myself
To not get trapped in the negative cycle, I realized being a social media creator/influencer, or whatever you want to call it, isn’t for me. I moved on and found another job. I am a travel counselor now where I get to sell dream vacations to clients everyday! When I first started blogging, I launched my website because I want to share all the fun experiences I’ve had with you, so you can make the most when you are visiting somewhere. But nowadays, it’s all changed. It’s frustrating when you have to compete with influencers who try to cheat the system, write inauthetic reviews or share places when it’s not even good on social media just for followers, money and exposure. I decided hey, you have a blog, let’s just stick with the content where you can only share, and let’s just stop obsessing over social media.
5. The Experiment
To be realistic, I erased all my social media apps from my phone. This all started on November 6th, 2019. I rarely go on social media on my ipad or mac. This includes Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, Twitter and Snapchat. I also stopped posting because I knew I needed this break. The first day I definitely was tempted to re-download Instagram and I did check several times what was going on. But I knew if I go lenient on myself this wouldn’t work. So with a few hiccups, the week went by, and you guys, I couldn’t believe how much time I had in my hands. The first few days, I felt like something was empty. But eventually I used those “empty” times to do something productive, instead of starting at the small iPhone screen, meaninglessly scrolling through the feed, feeling like why like my life not as entertaining as the others.
6. What’s Next?
Well I kinda had to stop my experiment on November 14th, 2019 due to previous partnerships I had. It wouldn’t be fair to them if I don’t do the things I promised to do. But after those, and until now, I try to reject many of the offers I get, to see how far I can be without social media and eventually take myself out of this massive trap. I erased the platforms again after about a week, and from then, until almost end of 2020, I was able to do my social media detox without any problems. You guys, I call this a success. But that’s not the end — I am re-writing this post again today and I now have a full control on social media and I rarely spend my time on there, and I feel totally fine.
7. Lessons Learned
Absorbing information, news and updates are fun because you get to learn new things. However scrolling through social media? is not the best idea. You can always get what’s new on apple news or google news. That’s what I have been doing, reading ad-free content directly on the news websites. When I use social media, I used to spend way too many hours which even I thought I needed help (very concerning). I was using 3–5hours/day for Instagram, and others 1–2 hours. I am sharing this because those are a lot of hours just to waste on social media when you can do something else! Additionally, you realize you have been losing time by sucked in unrealistic society and it’s just really sad. Imagine that was your last hour on earth, and instead of doing something else, you ended up spending worrying about how many likes you got on your post… we don’t want that.
8. You are Still You
Not all of us, but some of us, including me, probably thought that having some influence online and receiving free gifts and things would make ourselves more important than others or feel like gaining more popularity makes us better than others or whatever.. but actually we are still us, nothing have changed, and no one really cares. All the likes, comments, and followers you get is awesome, but ask yourself deep down, do you really want to have all those followers in real life or want them to constantly look into your life? For me, I wouldn’t want that. Thinking about it sounds exhausting.
~ We need to understand and accept that followers, likes or comment counts do not define who we are or how good we are. The sooner you accept that, the sooner you will get out of this social media trap ~
9. The “Reality” Offline
Remember, not the entire 8 billion people in the world use social media. It may seen like everyone around you is active on social media, but you are seeing only the piece of the world. To be brutally honest, no one would care or miss you if you stopped posting or was inactive on social media. Everyone just goes on with their lives and would only check in if you post something that interests them. Even some influencers could say, less competition, and prefer that you are gone.
Let’s take a look at this article, “Why I deleted all of my social media and 60000 followers”. In this article, Nick Fancher says, “The main reason I had selected Jay to interview for my podcast is that he maintains a posture that stands in opposition to current society. Though Jay is a photographer (and designer and director, etc, etc), he has no website, his Instagram posts are vague and infrequent, and yet his business is thriving. He creates campaigns for a number of luxury brands (Land Rover, Hermès, Bottega Veneta), and yet he rarely posts about it and almost no one knows who he is.”
I can’t believe it took me 3 years to realize this life isn’t for me. From the outside it looked cool and like a dream job, but your mental health pays the price. It also helped me when I started to realize none of my family nor my closest friends go crazy over social media. You already know the real friends would support you no matter what. They don’t care how many followers you have…
10. Life without Social Media
Yes, withdrawal symptoms are real. But I got over it because I was so firm on making this happen and you certainly can do it too, if you start shifting your focus to something other than thinking how others will look at you. Breaking up with social media helped me love myself even more and I even changed my morning and late night routine. My iPhone used to be my best friend and I felt anxious without it but now after two months, I don’t feel that way AT ALL. I can go hours without it and I sometimes enjoy the distraction-free hours. I try to read more books before going to sleep, get productive, workout during the day, meal prep, eat healthy, and I started writing journals every day, which by the way, helped me SO much. I will go in-depth in another post regarding my new lifestyle.
11. Is Social Media bad?
I don’t think it’s bad, and I am not trying to persuade or force anyone that you should just erase your app. But I do know that without social media, I became more happy with my life. I used to be ‘that girl’ who would take photos as soon as I walk in, tag the business accounts on my story, take photos when the food comes out and just be paranoid to upload everything on Instagram and other social media channels… but guess what? I barely do those anymore. Instead I try to enjoy the time, enjoy the actual meal, and enjoy the company. Like why was this so hard? I don’t know… I was addicted to social media. But I am glad I can share my story with you and I go perfectly fine days without any social feed content.
12. It’s Not Worth It!
I want to conclude my post with this last paragraph saying, it’s so not worth it to obsess how others would think about you or you trying so hard to fit into the unrealistic social standards. Everyone is different and we are all unique in our own ways. Let’s say, two influencers are friends with same follower count. The business decides to collaborate with one and not the another. You don’t have to feel like you are useless or you are not good enough. Your content just didn’t really meet the business’ guidelines but you still have great potential. You have to think it that way, that it’s not your fault, but it was, that, you weren’t what the business was looking for. Plus, you don’t need society’s approval on anything. You don’t need someone to judge you and tell you, “hey, you got 100 likes on this photo, you are less worthier than this girl who got 200 likes on her photo” — like seriously? NO! But it’s really important that YOU actually believe in yourself and you take this to your heart. Because if not, you won’t be able to do this. It all goes back to your mindset and self-discipline.
I hope you can use this article as your short guidebook. Our lives maybe different but I know you clicked on this article because you are addicted to social media and you rather not. If quitting social media have ever crossed your mind, this will help. We can all agree on social media is draining, so imagine being active on social media is your job… even worse. Nowadays, I feel peaceful and free.
